Sunday, August 16, 2009
Current mood: overstimulated
I LOVE my friends and all they give me...but I am feeling a wee bit overwhelmed and Uh hummm I may be a lil lonely tonight in my empty bed. I'm goin to sleep now tho after this that is.
I'm beginning to think that relationships aren't worth the pain. All of the relationships that I cherish and am a bit envious of are CRASHING down without warning or explanation. Wow, the last thing I posted was that true love is possible. But you know what...that was a while back ago. You think that there are men that are able to find women that want the same thing out of life in this day and age? Happiness and a life that is already content but are willing to share with one another? WOW tough concept I suppose. Not for me. i know what I want.
I want a man who can hold me and wants to share experiences with me every chance as it presents itself. (like going with me to drive down highway one ;) A man who will fight for me and not against me when we are discussing if we can make it work. (I always seem to be the one who is optimistic in the way that anything can be resolved if you work together and no need to fight, or don't walk away...just notice that I am saying I'm sorry even if it wasn't my fault to try and make it work and keep you here and happy? Or walk away and then come to a conclusion that suits both persons in the relationship) I want someone who loves me for WHO I AM and not for who he wants me to be. (I'm sorry the car wasn't cold lol and the dishes weren't always done, but I try to get motivated cuz I'll do almost anything to make my man happy...yes ladies I said it. ALMOST anything...why? Cuz a happy home leads to happy happenings lol) I want someone who needs my comforting touch as much as I need his and who wants to only be with me when the sun goes down and its time to crawl into bed. (If he dreams of someone else and has urges to lay with another and acts on them...EVER then he's not really mine or with me) I want compatibility (My jokes aren't always the best but we gotta be able to play around with words and have pithy banter or we're not ever gonna understand each other) I want Kids! (Do you want kids cuz that's a make or break question right there). I want to be complimented. (Even noises can be compliments like "oooooOoo or Mmmm" works if you like how I look that day or walked past you) I want someone who is okay with me goin out with my friends now and then...and who wants to spend time with his friends. (Not neglecting me but space is a great thing if trust is present) I want to be able to walk away from an argument. (come back and kiss you just as passionately as I always have or even more just to show that difference in oppinion should not lead to days of not speaking to one another) LMAO "Do we have any jelly" "you have any laundry you'd like done" lmao "I...Am not a twat" lmfao. hahaha. Okay sorry.
I know...I want alot but if you take out all of the sarcasm and chatter, it's not much to ask. Someone who understands all of that would be my dream man. Now if I can only find all of that within someone who actually wants to be with ME...thats the difficult part. I've found it. Almost perfect compatibility in a few of my friends but...unfortunately, friends is all they are willing to be :) AWESOME friends tho. Those are the kind I can tell anything to. They may even think twice about commenting on girly gossip or happenings with my body or whatever, but they listen and reply as if it doesn't bother them lol. Good friends. I'd give ya a treat but you're not at my computer...I am lol.
There is a HUGE toad outside my door, he hangs out there, I'm considering layin one on his nasty little slimy lips just to prove that I would do just about anything to find a man like I spoke of above. He's out there. Maybe he's waiting for me to face my fear of slimy little green things that pee in your hand. YUCK ew. Don't tempt me...I WILL DO IT!
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