Friday, June 26, 2009
Current mood: blank
I've had a few relationships in my life. Some ended absolutely scary...leaving me weak and thinking I could never do better. These kinds of relationships are the ones where you think the only men that will ever be good enough will be Jim, Jack, Jose, Ben, and Jerry. I have learned to count my losses and move on because of nothing more than my relationships that actually ended well. These relationships are the ones that leave you thinking that you are worth so much more than you had originally thought. The kind of relationship that you both walk away from giggling about the next person you may choose to spend your time with.
This brings me to the relationship that I am experiencing now. This man respects my space while treating me as if he doesn't want to miss a moment with me. This man includes me even when he knows I'm too lazy to accept the invitation. He wants to share things with me even though he has probably experienced everything I could even dream of doing. His stories of the life he has lived up to 25 years old are AMAZING. The kicker is that he has experienced so much and had so many opportunities and he's even attempted marriage twice but...he chooses to be here with me. He could be anywhere he wants and he has been offered MANY different places with so much attached but he STILL chooses me. He spends his time working hard even when it doesn't agree with his health or well-being. We're working on that one actually. But I feel so lucky to be in a relationship like this one. I have thought I found the one for me before but now I know that it takes more than just fate bringing you together to make it work. You have to put yourself out there and be honest about what you are and who you are and what you plan to be. If it's not accepted then oh well. But there is this tiny chance that you will actually find someone who not only knows your faults and issues...but accepts them as an addition of you. If they know what they are and are blind to them then you are missing the magic of someone knowing your flaws and not CARING that you have them. Honesty is key. Just be careful because you may be the only one being honest and that could end up hurting more than you expected.
A certain someone that I was involved with before I met my current boyfriend which, by the way, is AWESOME...anyways...my EX decided to open his mouth and tell a secret that I was respectful enough to share with him and I only shared because I trusted him. The secret...which is what it should have STAYED got spread all around to my new friends. MY group of people. It could have been detrimental to my love life but I am an honest person and my man is totally accepting of my past and all of my flaws that were handed to me. I thank God that he and I are together and that he accepts me for who I am and does NOT let these kind of things get to him. I am a lucky woman to have found someone who is so awesome to me. My EX who still remains nameless OWES me one hell of an appology because the secrets that I told him while we were together should stay between us even if we DID break up. Screw that noise. I don't deserve to be treated like I did something wrong when I did nothing to cause any of the drama. What is wrong with people these days? Everyone has Ex's Everyone has a past. Why must we hurt each other so badly? It sucks. We need to be adults. AND I'm SPENT!
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