Let me guess we're about to go over a huge waterfall? Sharp rocks at the bottom...BRING IT ON.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Current mood: confident

I'm having just a fantastical day considering i went to the dr. and he unpacked my wound telling me that it was lookin pretty good for a diabetic's healing process. Just to keep doing what I'm doing and don't overwork it. Well it's my leg. I gotta use it on occasion so I suck. But that's okay, he gave me more pain meds and it's helping me cope with the self-inflicted pain I must bestow upon myself in order to make it to the bathroom. Yeah unfortunately the bathroom is on the first level and I'm on the lower level so I can watch TV and prop my leg up on the couch. Not necessarily fun but a feat I must battle each day about 3 or 4 times a day.



So I'm stuck in bed or technically "in couch" and I watch a show or two then pass out, then watch a show or two, then pass out. Well normally when I crash, I wake up to something completely different on TV than what I was originally watching. These infomercials are hilarious these days. They try so hard to convince you to buy their product. Some of them are pretty cool, I wouldn't mind testing out the product. HOWEVER others are so dumb and rediculous I think wow...um I could do the same thing with a knife and a hammer and some duct tape. HA who doesn't know how to fix things with duck tape and WD40. I will be intrigued by something and then right in the middle they throw in the "it's free" (for 30 days plus shipping and handling) or the meds they try to sell are just as bad. It relieves all of the symptoms of having a period once a month. You don't even have to take a pill every day. Then you're like hmmmm this sounds nice. And they start in...quietly or nonchelantly...Side effects may include, nausia, heartburn, liver damage, diahreah, dry heaving, coughing, light headedness, blood clots, cancer, and in some cases death. Hmmm, I'll chance facing off mother nature once a month thank you. I don't think I want all of that. But they say it so happily into the screen that you think...Oh a little death...no biggie. it's crazy the way we are manipulated into things. I was watching one today as I waited for the next movie showing and it was for a straightener/curling iron. The words that made me actually laugh out loud were, "This is the most popular accesary at the moment." Yeah At the moment. That's funny. And my accesaries I like to wear around. A curling iron thingy is not going to go with my favorite belt and shoes I'm pretty sure.

I'm quite bored here at home. Wish I had a way to go out and do...anything really. I missed out on the volleyball thing. And that is my favorite sport so it's killin me to not have that to fall back on ya know? This is gonna happen for me. Life is only doing this shit to me because I was getting too comfortable with what I was doing. Life wants me to strive for more ALWAYS and reach for the highest point as opposed to settling for the one I can reach flat footed. Life said, wow you seem to be complaining and worrying about little things but you forget how much worse it could get. Here, see, I'll prove it. Maybe you should appreciate what you have and stop wishing it were something it's not or something more. Try this on for size and you'll be begging for things to go back to how they were. Now If I can just make my way out of all this bullshit I'll stop asking for things I do not deserve. Boyfriend, car, money, perfedtion. It's not like I'm that lonely, my good friends and sisters visit, I have a car although she's not so reliable these days she gets me from A to B, I make enough money but when hurt I can't work and my check will suffer for it so I will be extatic to have my regular paycheck back and thankful that I didn't lose my wonderful job due to my medical absences.

Yes my friends, it is time for me to sit back and re-evaluate what I have and be thankful that I am alive and I am capable of surviving such horrible events and come out of them shining asking, is that all you got? It's gonna take way more than that to bring this chick down. I am strong and independent and full of positive attitude. I'll make your head spin with my karisma and confidence. Try me. Just try me. You won't succeed in bringing down my spirit. I have had years of practice for these types of moments and I'm ready for it now. I have persistance, perserverance, dedication, will power, optimism, and good ol fashioned personality which I pride myself in being my own and unique in so many ways. I say BRING IT ON, and thank you life for the challenge to prove myself as being all of these things. I accept your test and I will pass with flying colors. The colors that only dreams are made of. Like my dreams and hopes and wishes. No, that is not what they are, they are simply things that are yet to be. Eventually I will make them mine because I set my mind to it. If I must face it alone then so be it. I will strive. I will survive. I am proud, I am brave, I am invincible, I am Woman.