This lonely blogger

Sunday, July 12, 2009
Current mood: awake

Wow what an exhausting couple of days. There is a lot of drama going on around here and I am trying my best to avoid it. My drama was last night but I've decided that I let it go too far considering my new way of dealing with things. I gotta just brush it off, keep smiling and if others can't accept my new life choices than I can say I'm sorry you feel that way and smile and move on. No time for drama. No time for tears. There may not be tomorrow. I never know but I'd hate my attitude goin out of this place to be sour. I have plenty of reasons to smile and be set and proud of myself. I shouldn't need others' approval or best wishes...I just forget that sometimes. I gotta watch myself. I have a 4 year old nephew that is watching the way I deal with situations in order to learn how to cope with life and if I mess up then there's a good chance he may follow...I can't let that happen.



You know, the more I think about it, I may be bi-polar. Not in a serious way, but my emotions have always been pretty severe. When I'm happy, like now that I'm having a great time with friends, I'm REALLY content. Then when bad stuff happens in my life, like my thyroid and liver, and the diabetes acting up and my ankles swelling and all the other bs that's happened, I get a little depressed. Maybe it's expected OH NO Maybe I'm just human. HA. thought I was all depressed huh? WRONG! Sorry to get your hopes up...but you push me down I GET RIGHT BACK UP! I'm a trooper. I am strong. I have grown since back then.



I had a family bbq today that I went to and it seems as if everyone is much closer now. One of my cousins came to visit from pretty far away and it was nice seeing him again. My family sometimes gets on here to see what's goin on in my life so I guess everyone is doing pretty well at this point. I'm blogging at night. At at at night. Yep, sittin here with Junior and my sister is downstairs chillin watchin a movie. She's workin a late-night job now so I went to visit her at work for a while and she's here with me now. Who needs a man when you have great family and friends to surround yourself with? I find it awesome that even when we dissagree with decisions made on some things, we can get together and have a nice shindig together. It's refreshing.

This guy I been hanging out with a lot even invited me to a bbq over the 4th and it was really fun and entertaining to see other families that are as loud and crazy as my own. Doesn't it feel great to have solid foundation in your loved ones? I think it is.

Went dancin tonight. Danced about 5 or 6 times to country the way that Dacer used to dance with me. FUN spinning and moving around on the dance floor like you're gliding and they can move ya around like you have been practicing with them for years and yet you've never met them. It's all in good fun and I miss dancing with my cousin that way so it is nice to have people who are willing to get out there and try just to have a good time.



Well I'm goin to bed. I think everyone is crashing out here...I will write again when I feel like it. Because that's what I do. :)



BY the waY!!! Thank you so much for your support and comments. My friends truly do rock and that's all that needs to be said!