Current mood: tested 
AH...the art of teasing. Muahahahaha. And I'm not talkin about some hot brunette lickin an ice cream cone seductively as she rapes you with her killer eyes. Or the guy who nonchelantly lifts his shirt up to stretch revealing his sexy six pack you were sure he had because of the confidence in his gorgeous smile and caring eyes. haha. No I'm talking about when someone goes to give you something and JUST about the time you convince yourself to trust them enough to reach out and accept it...They PULL IT BACK and say Oh, I'm sorry, I think I'm gonna keep it. Yeah. REAL TRUE teasing. I suppose we all go through this day to day but lately it's become more prominent for me due to the fact that everything was going SO GOOD and now it just seems like SHIT has definitely hit the fan. Things were awesome. I could seriously and comfortably look up at the sky and think. Hmmm...if I'm on cloud 9...why do these clouds even exist? Feelin top notch my friends. Then all of a sudden, my friends start callin me up and yelling at me arguing about things that happened years ago and tellin me that we can no longer hang out due to new girlfriends or old girlfriends or refurbished girlfriends? Okay so there's no such thing, but SOMETHING had to have convinced them that they are better than they were or else what's the point of getting back together? Well Pin a ROSE ON YOUR NOSE missy. He's been my friend for years and NOW you come into the picture and think that you can put your opinion of me out on the table and he is not "allowed" to talk to me anymore? That's bullhonkey if you ask me. I don't understand it at all. I WOULD understand it if I had stepped on people's toes and made them think I was up to something or acted suspicious but this is NOT the case here. Wanna know the kicker? This wasn't just one incident. This was 3 incidents almost like clockwork one right after another. Then my reliable friends became unreliable and the only two people I knew I could count on were sleepin or at work. Everyone else was busy. Or busy trying to find ways to be mad at me. I don't know what I did. Maybe I should change my perfume to something else. This anti-friend formula that I've been wearing is working apparently. Who'd a thunk it? Hawaiian scent makes people hate you...even over the phone long distance.
BLAH! BLAH BLAH! I'm not one to fight. I'm a lover not a fighter, although I DO fight for what I love. But this is getting rediculous. Why...when I'm so content and happy must I defend myself in order to keep people in my life? I think I'm a good person. I deserve to be happy without drama right? Now I'm getting negative vibes on my new car because it showed up in CHERRY condition and now my dad has decided to spend his second mid-life crisis pawning over the fact that he wants to keep it instead of me getting it for my college graduation present I was promised even though I was working out ways to pay him MYSELF for it. Got offered a spot on a volleyball team too which I was so psyched about until...oh wait...I can't play volleyball because of my leg being cut OPEN. Oh yes. And I had no worries with my friends and who I was hanging out with but OH WAIT...now everyone is being all weird and offish again. I don't know. I'm confused. Maybe it's the medication I'm on. But you know what...I'm taking it IN STRIDE! Once again (I am not given more in a day than I can handle...if I feel I am being overloaded, it is because He knows I I AM strong and I must do my best to keep my head up and overcome this feat in order to set an example for others who are weak and would not be capable of surviving these chapters in life)
OKAY so yesterday morning...to be technically correct because it was 3:30AM, I went to the ER...With my best friend, which turns out to be VERY VERY reliable ( I knew this but she proved it once again). She took me to the hospital and I admitted myself because my leg, which had gotten an infection from an insulin shot I had given myself in the thigh, swelled up like a baseball. The pain was so AWEFUL that I couldn't sleep or move my muscle in any way at all without it KILLING me. Felt like someone stabbed me with a knife, then twisted it around, then decided to dig around with it to make me miserable. Horrifying pain the last night so I gave up and went to the ER. Well, 5 hours later I was headed for surgery when the surgeon decided, HEY I can do this right here and you can just stay awake through it. We'll just give you heavy meds (which I did NOT argue with) to dull the pain of the many shots around the wound I will give you to numb the area (which I DID argue with) so that I can just cut your leg wide open right here and then scoop out a good chunk of your leg and then pack it with gauze and cover it with massive bandages. Yeah, I took the pain well...but I've had this done before and the wound wasn't numbed enough and I felt the cutting of the knife. Not fun. Tears rolled. Out of sheer fear. I admit it. But he gave me the choice of that or putting me under and going into the actual surgery room. I looked at my best friend and she grabbed my hand and never let go till after they were done doing it right there. I must say, he did a great job, I only felt the shots to numb it. They doped me up on so much IV pain killers and muscle relaxers that I was dead to the world while wide awake. It was interesting. I must say people. This is number 5 surgery of this nature and I earned the right to the title of TOTAL BADASS! Yes, No tears from pain, just teeth clenching and fist squeezing...I'm down. I know that it can only get better from here.
GUess what that means tho. No work for a week. THAT SUCKS. I hate staying home not to mention the fact that I am completely alone here. My best friend is not feeling so well tho so She may stay home tomorrow. The rest of the week will Suck undoubtedly. Grrrr. Time for a pain pill, my leg is killin me. Then hopefully a lil sleep before I have to UNPACK my leg and repack my leg ewwww. Yeah, but that's a day in the life of Kesha. What can I say?
Maybe someday I can find someone who is willing to hold my hand by the bed like my best friend (sister) did. LOL even though she almost passed out when he made the incision and started cleaning it out lmao. That's love right there. 7 hours of sitting in the ER with me keeping my spirits up and my mind off of my leg proves that. Thanks WOMAN! I love you much! I gotta tell you, it's times like these I yearn for those words in my future promising to love me in sickness and in health. FO SHO! Someone will man up. Eventually someone will
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