TEST RESULTS! Is that all you got?

Monday, June 08, 2009

Current mood: intense

I got results today from the doctor. There's alot of good news and some bad. Good news is that it's not my kidneys failing. That's sorta a diabetic's worst nightmare. But there is somethin wrong with my thyroid. I was given medication for that and we're gonna see if all of the strange symptoms will quit on their own. That's also a good thing. It may be manageable. Now here's the kicker. My liver is not healthy. It is damaged and enflamed and I will be going to a specialist in Lubbock for it. It's a scary concept but the doctor said the only thing I can do for it now is to stay away from all alcohol. Yeah, I know. Ironic isn't it? I've lived with and around alcoholics all my life not indulging myself too much in any of it until recently and I'm the one who ends up with a damaged liver. Not quite fair if you ask me. I'm a little scared, but I am strong and my will is powerful and I will not give up or give in to anything. It could have happened to anyone and it did...and it will. I hope that someone...anyone looks at this and realizes how easily it is to aquire such an illness. I have a few close friends that live on alcohol like it's water or that party themselves into comas almost every night and they are headed this same way. My God...I don't drink but once a week maybe twice and only allow myself a few. It's not worth it in the end. It's just not.



It's funny how you find out who really loves you or cares in the least during times like this. I reached out to quite a few people and although I am used to rejection and being treated like it doesn't matter how I feel or what happens to me by friends in my past...this one kinda hurt. I did need to talk to someone today and I saw who my true friends were as they comforted me and boosted my confidence proclaiming my ability to fight for myself and become the "strong ass bitch" that they know I am. Thanks guys. I love you for that. Shots and blood tests are nothing compared to this but I sure do appreciate the support. You rock me.



Speaking of true friends...UNO I'm coming to see you and nothing can stop me now. I have people offering to bring me and they know how important you are to me. Gimme a week and I'll get the money together and be on my way. I love you and you may need me but right now I need you too. LOTS of LOVE woman. Stay strong.



Alot of us have been dealt this bad hand but you know what...maybe if we put our cards together as a team we can make something great from it...also...we can win with a bad hand of cards as long as we play them right and keep our poker face straight!



I stand up for anyone and everyone that is facing a tough time right now and say that it doesn't matter what it is...we CAN prevail and we WILL be stronger in the end because of it. I know my body may be trying to give up on me but I refuse to give up on myself and I will come out of this just as I came into it. A strong independent woman with support around me that I wouldn't trade for anything. Yeah, people come into our lives at the strangest times...but for good reason. I have what I need right now and everyone who doesn't care enough to be in my life....they don't belong here. Goodbye negativity and hello life. I have been waiting for my next challenge and now here I am, up to battle again. All I can say is...."IS THAT ALL YOU GOT"? I'm still here!!!!!!



To yet another day here on earth...and one coming toward me quickly I say...bring it on. I'm ready.