Saturday, May 16, 2009
Current mood: mellow
I write when I'm upset. I guess today is no exception to the rule. Everything is fine or so it seems, however, I still have not been given the chance to speak to my "boss" yet. What is there to say other than sorry I was sick and it offended you? Wow. I just cannot wrap my mind around this one.
On a completely different note, I have a couple of friends that I was in close touch with that have decided I am totally not worth their time and I guess that's just life and the way the cards are dealt and I'm okay with that but....NO no...I'm not okay with that. If those people are reading this blog I have something to say. Screw ya royally, Sorry you decided I'm not worth a friendship cuz I was there for you for anything you needed or wanted as far as friends can go. I haven't felt that blown off in years and you know what? That's what I was trying to avoid by talking to you and you know it. I guess it's not cool to have a friend that's a girl as long as she's not available sexually? well...the closest you'll get to that is this...F*ck you. Sorry I waisted my time on you. I know...it's crude and mean sounding, but if you only knew what it feels like to know that you weren't even worth the explanation of why you are being ignored by friends that found it imperative to call and write every single day and you were in contact with for hours at a time having a blast and enjoying their company and then BAM they start avoiding you and not answering your calls and not replying when MYSPACE lets you know when someone has read your message or not. Yeah, so whatever, I don't need people in my life that don't care if I'm in theirs.
Just add water, or my instant boyfriend, as he is reffered to as....lol...is doin great. We're movin pretty fast, but I've known him for a long time so it's okay, it doesn't even feel awkward, which is great cuz with anyone else it would have. I would be pulling away instead of sitting comfortably with him. But it's no issue. I love where I am right now and there's nothing anyone can do to change that...well aside for him, but he definately doesn't want to change that cuz he says I've been on his mind for years. Yeah...stalker lmao just kidding. He's had other things goin on and actually tried to be with other women but it just didn't work out due to them just not being on the same page in life. Fortunately, everything he believes in...everything he thinks is almost identical to how I think and feel. It's fantastical to say something truly self-rightous and have someone agree with you completely without trying to argue a point inside of it and screw with the ideas you have come up with to be unique. We even go as far as listening to the same music, our morals on family are the same, and our ideas on where to live and what to do are very similar as well. I think I just got caught by an actual man. Go figure, I was ready but not willing and he didn't even have to convince me. Everything fell into place quite nicely and now...I can actually say...I'm happy. How does it go? Miss independent fell in love. Oops. Guess it sneaks up on ya when you least expect it. But that's when it's honest.
I am still sick and trying to beat Bronchitis however, my medication has codine in it so I am resting quite well. He he. Good thing too cuz I haven't slept a full night in about two weeks, that is....until last night. The soft kiss on my cheek that woke me up this morning was well appreciated as I think of a close friend who got played last night in the worst way....FELLAS!!! Let me give you a little bit of advice. It wouldn't be so bad when you make other plans or decide not to put us first every second of every day...we can handle that. In fact, we can be quite understanding...HOWEVER, if you lie about it or you forget that family is the most important thing...that's when we see the shit hit the fan. Lying is rediculous as an adult...if you can't tell the truth...it's not worth doing it (as my sweet new boyfriend would say). I don't believe in lying, it only creates distance and woes in a relationship. Is this person not your life-partner? Shouldn't this person be your best friend? You SHOULD be able to tell this person anything and everything without worrying about their reaction. Grow up people!!! My friends both women and men are getting hurt left and right and I got lucky with one who tells the truth whether or not it hurts because that's what we agreed on but I am SO TIRED of seeing my friends hurt due to lies that could have been resolved in seconds by just opening up and saying "HEY I would love to meet your family, but maybe not tonight because one of my friends is relying on me to be there". How hard was that?
YOU bullies!!!! Quit hurting the people I love with your careless ways dangit, I gotta pick up the pieces and it's not a pretty sight or one that I enjoy. I will continue to do it because I love them but I shouldn't have to because you should love them more damnit!!!!
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