Who's a BadAss?

I swear I have tried to portray myself as a strong, versatile, prosperous woman, but even so, when I cannot sleep due to horrible, terrifying, and incredibly realistic nightmares, I am stuck thinking at night until my head hurts so bad from trying to figure things out and my eyes hurt so bad from stressing them so long and my heart hurts from thinking too much...that I finally fall asleep.  Only to wake up an hour or two later crying my eyes out from whatever my subconscious has decided to present to me as something I need to see now.  Why is my subconscious torturing me?  Why can't I dream of beautiful things that I will get to see or make up things and imagine things I want to see but will never get the opportunity to?  This is not fair, and the only one I can blame is myself because they are my dreams and MY subconscious...which really sucks.  I would truly rather blame someone else if at all possible...but NO...tis I that is at fault (pause for dramatic effect). Woah is me.  I suppose I am creating my own tears, letting my fears get the best of me and treat me like a lowly little girl when I am anything but that.  Time to do some soul searching.  Not in the way that most do, but in the way that I need to...finding my inner badass and forcing her out against her own will.  Now, if I were a badass hiding inside someone's mind, where would I be? Probably somewhere in the vicinity of ninjas and heroins.  OKAY here it goes...wish me luck.  I may come out with bruises and scrapes but I'm gonna make my badass come out....wait a minute...if I am the one forcing a badass out doesn't that make ME like a superbadass or something?  I mean, I AM being the enforcer in a situation where I have to be even stronger than the counterpart that doesn't want to initiate this right?  ALRIGHT maybe I AM gonna be okay.  NOW to go find my subconscious and slap the shit out of it...again...wish me luck :) and better dreams.  - Kesha Flint